30 June 2008

the wisdom of crowds

honestly, i expected the beer cannes audience to rise above the obvious, populace pleasing sounds of the joker and take the money and run. and i certainly did not expect the complete seduction of abracadabra and jungle love.

i mean have you ever heard one of these nights or the best of my love. not to mention already gone and take it easy. seriously guys, i gave you a slam dunk on the innaugural poll question and you did me wrong.

the steve miller band beat the eagles by a 2 to 1 margin and that is bullshit. you are probably the same people who tell me that james taylor is better than jim croce or that billy joel is better than elton john. they aren't. and the steve miller band, as awesome as they are, sure as shit aren't better than the eagles. i mean seriously the fucking eagles. they might be the best band ever...if it wasn't for hall and oates.

the sad part of all this misinformed hullaballoo is as wrong as you are, you are all the audience i have so i am gonna trust you with another question. this one however is one that i do not know the answer to just yet.

as you have noticed, over our first month of existence we here at beer cannes have touted the promising work of up-and-coming (probably on your face) talent joe wisner.thus far he has submitted two works of utmost importance to the current cinematic landscape of our city and now i am leaving it up to you to decide which is better.

so what's it gonna be?

the manimal video for the hit song like your mother or...

please view both of these and vote over on your left. those of you who previously voted for the steve miller band...please find some way to attone for the sin of incorrectness, i trust being a supporter of beer cannes that you will.

27 June 2008

a quick hell yeah for george hill

the only thing that salvaged that shithole of a draft for me last night was the san antonio spurs ambitious 26th selection with which they took broad ripple rocket and iupui jaguar george hill.

congrats to george hill on your dream coming true. you are a newly minted millionaire with a three year guaranteed contract and i'm sure you won't disappoint cause you got game.

iupui has a baller in the show...this is fucking unbelievable and should be celebrated as not only awesome for mr. hill but as a testament to what coach ron hunter is doing with his "ips all star team" at iupui. ron takes a shot on local talent that the big ten schools have been overlooking for years. and now he's got one of them in the nba. keep doing your thing coach and i for one will always support.

good for ips
good for iupui, go jags!
cheers to ron hunter
and cheers to george hill...go get em baller!

this is a great thing for indianapolis

26 June 2008

awesome...i have something to look forward to and something not exactly new to be afraid of... (new pacers=more gunshots)

it's thursday which means what? oh yeah...it's the freakin' weeken' ima 'bout to have me some fun. first, i wanna give a big ups to landmark and their booker(no i didn't write the letter) for getting something that i actually want to see, which is a film that actually made some festival rounds and made it into the pages of film comment(as opposed to us weekly.) this week landmark keystone "arts" presents:

reprise-joachim trier

i am gonna see this film and i urge you too as well. either that or mongol because right now i feel it is of utmost importance to fans of the cinema in this town to support as much as possible because i would hate for landmark to "suffer the same fate as our beloved castleton arts"

after all, even landmark's half-assed offerings of an olive branch to those with style and class is better than nothing.

and speaking of nothing...i must ask, what is your favorite kind of car?
because right now, mine is a firebird...which is exactly what the pacers should do.

fuck you larry bird! under your direction the pacers have become nothing. i mean really, how many wing players do you need. it's as if the only thing you could do to make me think that jarred bayless was a great pick is to immediately trade him for brandon rush and jarrett jack, both of whom happen to play the same position as our two best players and the guys you are supposedly trying to build around in dunleavy and granger. nice going asshole, why dont you sign jamaal tinsley to a nice long term extension and call it a day. how else can you fuck this team.

so in closing...fuck larry bird, fuck the pacers and go see reprise...if only so we can get some more adventurous fare around here.

22 June 2008

a brutal slice of life

every so often a talent will emerge whose take is so fresh that it will go on to render everything that came before it obsolete. think lubitsch, think kazan, think godard, think spielberg, think tarantino.

joe wisner is not that guy. no he is the other kind of guy. the type whose shit is just so revolutionary, so ahead of the curve that those lacking foresight are prone to dismiss it in its own time. taking a realist aesthetic and molding it to his own whims, wisner has created a realm of infinite houseparties and morning breakfasts after where the act of seeing things as they are lends itself to much larger ponderings of the greater meanings of existence.

after dropping the ultra hot, beer cannes favorite video for the band manimal that can be seen to the left. joe wisner has recently unveiled his second opus bacon.

bacon is a six minute think piece about the eternal struggles to rise beyond ones station as a fatty, fleshy slab frying in an uncaring god's earthly grease fire. it reminds us of the celestial pokes and prods and twists and turns of the great unknown's forever shifting tynes. one starts off so young and meaty and ends up a smaller, burnt, almost unrecognizable version of one's former self. this metaphor of the grand parade that is life takes hold of the viewer and ensnares its audience in a cycle that leads from utter despair on the state of the human condition to an almost insatiable appetite for life if only to momentarily delay the crispiness that lies ahead. a perfect meditation on the process of aging, bacon is among the finest short films i have ever seen.

grade a beef! beer cannes approved!

19 June 2008

is there anything to prompt "what i'm looking forward to?"

in a short answer...no.

it is a sad comment on the state of things when, in doing my research, i no longer need to look at the mainstream theatre's webpages to find out what new hollywood films will be bestowed upon the screens of our fair city. i find lately that all i need to do is take a gander at landmark theatres site for the keystone "art" cinema and magically the newest hollywood release would be displayed for me there. this week its get smart(which in fairness i will probably see...at the drive-in)

so what's the deal. the amc's of the world get all the sequels and landmark gets all the old tv shows. (gus van sant's "cheers"...how you like dem apples...thats all im saying.) speaking of gus van sant...i think that might have been the last "post" film upon which landmark's indy incarnation could hang its "art" hat.

and that was before i started this blog, therefore it didn't actually "happen."

so its off to tibbs drive in...the greatest place for movie loving friends of beer cannes in the city.

c'mon landmark...get me the duchess of langlais...get me alexandra...
step your game up.

17 June 2008

just freaking watch it

seriously, i very rarely post to this site whilst drunk...but fuck it. i was just watching the first fifteen minutes of george washington by david gordon green and i just wanted to say that you need to watch it. it is poetic. it is gorgeous, and it is real and that makes it freaking beautiful as it unwraps itself in front of you and swallows you whole. i love it and you will too.

seriously, if you are going to go see pineapple express, which i plan to do, you owe it to yourself to at least see george washington and all the real girls before you do. its the best time you will spend in front of a television this year...guaran fucking teed.

16 June 2008

aaron katz

as my theory holds that words are woefully inadequate quantifiers of the breadth of human emotions, the films of aaron katz, and more specifically the feelings they create, can not be done justice by mere vocabulary exercises. so i will let one of the characters from dance party usa speak on its behalf. here's:

"just a little sort of synopsys...its awesome."

the kids of dance party usa inhabit a world of empty yet still spinning amusement park rides. they long for the one moment when one is stuck at the top of the ferris wheel with the one they adore even if they are so drawn into search mode that they can't fully appreciate these moments until afterward when they can relay them in a way as to make them some sort of souvenir of the glorious moment now passed. in this land of emptiness, where moments pass by in a hazy, drug and alcohol induced stupor, the greatest hope these kids have is for a snapshot, or a photograph of a memory to prove that something, anything actually happened. they take large parties and section themselves off into smaller, more intimate parties, the type where moments are shared.(see quiet city...please) and then, as if nothing ever happened, these moments are gone and these kids are left all alone, spooning condiments into their mouths while neglecting the hamburger that is on their plate.

but who cares, as long as the music is good. and it is...really good.

really big things

i saw kung fu panda yesterday on the imax screen. turns out there is a slight charge for the awesomeness(and the attractiveness.) but much like divorce(and energy drinks), it is expensive because it is worth it. the largeness of it genuinely made me feel like a child and the movie, which is visually lush and kinda gorgeous, rocked as well. a great time was had by all.

12 June 2008

what i'm looking forward to

nothing...at least not this weekend. fuck the hulk and fuck m. night; i can be bored sitting around my house. this should lead to the publication of a previously promised diatribe about film distribution, but it isn't going to...at least not tonight. im a little too sad that i missed cj7 last week because of the sheer inconvenience of scheduling. at least i still have the oppurtunity to see kung fu panda, even though honestly i want something more substantial. i want the new guy maddin. i want the new dardennes. i want...something...that isnt indiana hulk and the happening of doom. what is nicole holofcener doing? atom egoyan where are you? i deserve better than this. and when i dont get it my mind turns to wanting to think about things that aren't really as interesting as the cinema. like...

reggie bush is the new boz.
is it possible to be a flop and resurrect a franchise simultaneously?

give me better movies.

11 June 2008

pacman jones and student loans: just bein' rebellion at the script club.

recently on the jim rome radio program, there has played a soundbyte of much maligned cowboy cornerback adam "pacman" jones in which he is being interviewed about his penchant for trouble and more specifically his prediliction towards places in which young ladies remove clothing. pacman's answer horrified me as it the incident seems a microcosm for a much larger problem facing this country. his answer goes a little like this.

"it aint no sin to go to the script club...(not a typo)
"i'm just bein' rebellion"

now, i'm not trying to make any moral judgements about pacman. after all, he is correct about the fact that it is not a sin, or at least against the law, to go to the script club. i have been there many times myself. unfortunately, my version of the "script" club involves screenplays for films that play in my head. and that's a little bit different than the man implicated in a shooting incident at a...say it with me now pac...s-t-r-i-p club. yes, children it seems as if pacman is once again involved in a shooting. this time however, the only thing he was trying to murder was the english language.

or maybe im just bein rebellion. no...im starting a rebellion by being rebellious. see the difference pacman? but again, this is not the real problem. after all, the first time i heard it i laughed the same way i did the first time i heard dolphins linebacker channing crowder ask if "they speak english over there in england" after claiming that he couldn't find it on a map. hell yeah, i laughed, right before it started to make me angry.

see the sad fact is these fucking guys went to college, or at least housed themselves on or near college campuses for a few years. the worst part is that they did it for free while most of my friends and aquaintences actually graduated owing sums of money the size of small mortgages. it apparently does not matter to the granters of free education that these dudes' iq are about as low as their 40 yard dash times. it apparently doesn't matter that these guys clearly did not take advantage of the academic oppurtunities and rewards granted them free of charge because of their football prowess.

now i dont begrudge pacman and channing their success in the nfl. i dont begrudge them the spoils that come with it. but i do begrudge the fact that these guys paid no money for the use of academic facilities of the universities of west viginia and florida respecively. especially when people i know who merely wanted to be more intelligent, well rounded, and better spoken human beings are going into debt up to their eyeballs just to take advantage of the academic institutions that pacman and crowder took for granted.

it seems to me that this is indicitive of a larger problem in the united states as we use far too many of of our not quite as abundant as we thought resources pulling up idiots to the middle (or higher) and not enough of our resources allowing the intelligent to make themselves even better. we have the talent in this country to constantly be setting the bar higher and higher in all walks of life. but unfortunately the welfare system of college scholarship awards has brought us to the point of granting education to the likes of pacman jones, channing crowder, and maurice clarett, while inflation has brought us to the point that alot of capable people are unable to self resource alot of ideas because of the financial burden that their educations became. alot of talent is being wasted and the bars seem to be being reset at a slower pace than at any time previous in human history with perhaps the possible exception of the dark ages.

and that is fucking depressing...oh well i'm gonna go to the script club.

08 June 2008

another person boo-ing busch

i figured it couldn't be that bad, after all it had a good name. i was wrong. unfortunately busch beer is nowhere near as good as kyle busch. hell it isnt even as good as kurt busch has been this season...which is pretty horrible really. no the frothy concoction from the good? people at anheiser busch is pretty fucking awful and i am convinced that they put extra sugar is that shit as i woke up with a splitting headache this morning. without any other hangover syptoms to go along with the headache, i dont believe i can take the blame for overindulging on this one.

so with that in mind i am giving busch beer a big fat BOO!!! and a little fuck you like the fans at the last few tracks when kyle busch has taken the checkered flag.

but you can only add my voice of dissent to the chorus of busch haters only insofar as the beer.

fellow nascar fans need to respect what rowdy is doing and show him some love. quit booing him because he is going faster than your guy and respect the phat run he is on. dont be a fucking redneck like the world thinks you are on this one, okay nascar fan. just because little e doesnt have the nutsack to pass somebody when it counts dont take that out on kyle busch.

i mean, shit, eventually even jeff gordon is gonna win a race this year. and in between deciding whether to call him an elf or a dwarf or a hobbit, i am gonna give him the few moments of respect that was earned by his trip to victory lane. i will even listen to what he is saying with his helium midget voice.

so in closing, dont hate kyle busch. put that hate somewhere more useful and refuse the next time someone offers you the cold beer with a similar monicker. you will be glad you did. because busch beer sucks.

07 June 2008

a short list of people who've got me during this rainy season

i will hang with anything these people do...

andrew bujalski is kind of like your life, only less interesting. which in turn makes you realize how boring your life really is, or at least how it might appear that way to an outsider. and that, in turn, makes you long for the type of lives being led by people in andrew bujalski films. it is a continuous cycle that has me wanting to rewatch mutual appreciation right now. so i can feel better and worse about my existence simultaneously. plus that dude is totally nathan cook...for real.

miranda july is the angel and devil on my shoulder. whispering in one ear that everything is beautiful while telling me that nothing from this point forward will ever be the same in the other. witness her thoughts in you and me and everyone we know on how technology pulls us away from our true longing, which is the community of others, by allowing us further into ourselves. just far enough to know we cant go back from the universe of our imagination to the uncertain world of interpersonal relations. and she just seems cool, read her blog about voting in an elementary school...it singlehandedly made me register.

clint bowyer is the greatest damn car driver that ever was and he drives the coolest looking car. carl edwards is a cheater.

if i were italian and grew up in the 60's, i would believe that ermanno olmi had the supernatural ability to peer into my mind and see through to my soul. i am connecting hardcore to the il posto mentality that if one buys a raincoat to impress a girl, the only thing one should plan on is being all wet. because the only thing a stylish raincoat does is prepare one to be rained on. and i totally dig the daydreaming at work vibe of i fidinzati because i often find myself daydreaming at work...usually of the same dancehall scenes that our protagonist fancies.

and finally, a request that will most definitely appear again on these pages. i dont know what needs to happen, whether someone needs to get off their ass, whether someone needs to come up with some money...i dont know. all i know is that i hope the stars align just right in the near future so i can quit asking this same question. whit stillman...when the heck are you gonna make another movie? its been like ten years and if i have to see one more mike white film before i see your next concoction i might have to bust a fucking cap...

05 June 2008

what i'm actually looking forward to

i had the dream of calling this, which is the first in a new weekly series, "what im not looking forward to." but my puzzled mind behold a true rarity today. when i went to do my research, which is what i call it when on thursday i go to the computer and find out what, if any, big screen viewing i might be doing over the next week. i assumed like many other weeks recently, that the list would be stuck at zero, therefore allowing me to write a scathing critique of the film distribution system both in general and especially how it pertains to us in the circle city. but alas i will have to save that for another time as there are two films,(two!!! can you believe it!) that i want to try to see in the next week before i have to do research again.

the first is cj7 by stephen chow which, based on my feelings for shaolin soccer and kung fu hustle, is probably at the top of my list for the weekend

but it is followed in yearning closely by kung fu panda which is a slam dunk.

this one i am rolling to tibbs for. cause if your gonna see some new hollywood shitty shit then you ought to support a good cause and go see a triple feature of garbage. the drive in is always a good time even if the movies suck, and tibbs drive in is the best of the best. go this weekend and watch 3!!! freaking movies...and buy concessions cause that's how they stay in business. the sandwiches are good and the fries are freaking unbelievable. i might even see you there.

as for brick and mortar theatres go to landmark. be sure to phuck with phil...he's new and a cool dude. the fact you are in a mall goes down smoother with a cocktail and the staff is the best at what they do within at least a 700 mile radius. i might see you there. ill be the quiet one sitting as close to the screen as to not appear demented, because it makes everything big and because the french new wave kids did it that way and who am i to argue with them.

double feature #2: the party before the revolution

dazed and confused-richard linklater 1993
the rules of the game-jean renoir 1939

both of these films take place on the cusp of sweeping social changes. the french countryside before the overtaking of paris by the nazis and a small texas football town full of the college grads of the reagan era set the stage for sweeping multiple protagonist antropological studies which feature their subjects milling about their natural habitats. the aristocrats in renoir's film drink and hunt birds and roam around a mansion, given the freedom to come and go as they please floating in and out of space as easily as they float in and out of interpersonal linkings. the kids of dazed and confused, the soon to be seniors of 76, drink and smoke and hunt freshmen (with paddles!), and roam around places like the emporium, top notch, and the moon tower. their freedom is much the same. this freedom occasionally goes too far resulting in occasional outbreaks of violence.

there ends up a heady, bubbly concoction which makes one giddy with the whirling view that creates a hazy snapshot of a group of people in a certain period of time right before everything in their lives changed. it is interesting to note that renoir made his film in the time it takes place while linklater had the luxury of many years hindsight, especially when the fact that both films are tinged with a hint of nostalgia for halcyon days gone by. its as if renoir had the foresight to know in advance what linklater saw in the history following the summer of the bicentenial. in the end we know that after the final reel has unspooled that the aristocrats in the french countryside were subject to massive limitations on their previous freedoms often resulting to the sale of one's soul. the stoner kids put on ties and went to wall street. or more site specifically went to work for the oil companies and defense contractors that were so popular in the days of trickle down economics. they didnt have much soul left either.

but at least they had one last big fucking blowout...it was fun...and its fun to watch.

04 June 2008

numbers, numbers, numbers

am i the only one that dosn't care about numbers? the question "what did a film do?" used to be answered by a hopefully measured, intelligent response, but at least by a knee jerk reaction like it sucked or it was cool or something of that ilk. now the answer to that question comes in the form of digits, generally lots of digits. oh, sex and the city did 75.345 billion dollars over the weekend. indiana jones did more than the gross product of the actual indiana. im over that noise. who cares what a movie made in terms of money. i dont know the top 10 highest grossing movies of all time off the top of my head, but im willing to bet that they are well made, high production value, pieces of burning shit and that the majority of them suck. seriously, grosses act as a better indicator of a pr firm's prowess than of a films. my hat is off to the people who did pr for the film 21 for getting me to choose to see that flaming turd.

really, did anyone get into movies to talk about numbers? i sure as hell didn't. if i wanted to punch numbers all day, i would have been an accountant. like steven spielberg.

so the next time someone asks you what a film did. answer about yourself and yourself alone. give at least a nice gut level instinct feeling. i will give you a short example:

q: troy what did the film leatherheads do
a: they did about 10 bucks off of me...and sadly that's about it.

hero worship

there has always been a line in the movie breathless that has bothered me. along the way there is a discussion about the relative populaces of france and the united states, and during the dialogue jean paul belmondo states that americans are lame because they like maurice chevalier and that m. chevalier is the worst of all frenchmen. while this line would not be out of line for belmondo's character, a rougish, bogart obsessied thug, i often wonder how much of it was the character as it was godard.

this would be one hero in my pantheon attacking another. i feel i might have to choose a side. on one is godard. and he has the added advantage of having the lines flow from the figure of mr. fucking cool himself, jpb. on the other is poor monsieur chevallier, unable to defend himself. with a champion's effort, i spring forward to his rescue. displaying that this site is not above hero worship, i tell jlg that he is wrong...maurice chevallier is a fucking boss pimp...and you(and belmondo) as a fellow boss pimp should just ease up and respect his game. i still love you jean-luc...now go to your room. and watch one hour with you.

i give you maurice chevalier

03 June 2008

double feature #1: voodoo dolls

one of the brightest of all illuminaria on the indianapolis film scene, ryan micheel(who needs his own blog if only so i can read it...daily) once told me of his theory that any two movies, when viewed as a double feature will share similarities beyond the method of production that will make them viable to each other within the format. with this i give you the first installment of what will be sure to become another massive hit on the net(thats what us hip kids who started our blog in 08 call the interweb) i submit for your(probably only zach's) audio/visual pleasure:

marked for death-dwight h. little 1990
cleo from 5 to 7-agnes varda 1962

while on the surface these films might seem far apart, i assure you they are not. steven segal hunting down voodoo drug kingpins shares many traits with cleo on her voyage of self discovery through the waters of impending doom. along the way both protagonists are forced to confront not only their world, but also themselves.

in much the same way segal hunts down the drug dealers thus attoning for the wrongs inflicted upon him, cleo must travel the streets of paris, attempting to reconcile the image she has of herself with the image she feels is being placed upon her by the patriarchal society that can only see her for her looks/voice and sex appeal. in the manner that segal realizes that he is not controlled by the voodoo that seems to hinder his pursuit of the bad guys, cleo too comes to the realization that she is not merely the object of the male gaze, but that she is a fucking badass popstar ready for you to hear her roar. the voodoo of institutionalized sexism can no longer define her journey through this world. in an act of defiance, she bolts from a meeting with her producers, longing to discover paris on her own terms, longing to discover herself away from the pressures of society that have been put upon her. she will no longer be manipulated like a voodoo doll, she is the one who will insert the pins.

in the end they both kick ass, steven segal in the traditional form, cleo in a more emotionally driven way. they both however do it in their own way, eschewing the societal constraints that have partly dominated their lives previously. whether overcoming voodoo or sexism, both walk away with a more pronounced definition of self, seeming to say "i am who i am." and if you dont like it that's tough.

now go enjoy...

01 June 2008

in the city of sylvia

after another year in which the indianapolis international film festival underwhelmed me with its minimal scheduling of films i actually want to see, i am at least somewhat satisfied with the fact that they brought back hou-hsiao hsien(or as he's known in this neck of the woods, ho ho ho) and his lovely new "hou does paris" piece the flight of the red balloon.

other than this surefire pleaser, the only other highly anticipated film on my list, in the city of sylvia proved to be redeeming of the otherwise wholly piece of shit festival. set on the streets of europe(the fact that it is strausborg is not explicitly stated) the film explodes with images that celebrate the sheer joy of looking(generally at the wonders and beauty of women) it evokes the pure experience of being receptor to the constantly shifting energies of the world around us. without forcing us to contemplate the banal question of "what does it all mean," jose luis guerrin instead allows us to see and experience the world on its terms, where a simple glance or sound can involve us so completely in the moment that the mere notion of rationalization beyond the now becomes this unnecessary time waster as the only thing that matters is the atmosphere we take in and the audio visual experience taking place in the space in front of our face.

an truly interesting experience to say the least, i left this film wanting to not just walk through the lobby toward my car, but to experience the lobby. i needed to look at the faces of the people milling about, i needed to hear the cavernous echo that creates a large distance between me and the consumption inducing muzak that radioed out from the gloriously white glowing mall where the film unspooled. i needed to find a glimpse of a gorgeous girl as this film is , if nothing else, a lovely homage to the passtime of girlwatching. alas all i found was my car.

other than these two however, i think that the indianapolis international film festival should adopt a new tagline. from here forth the posters should read:

indianapolis international film fetival: wholly shit!

top ten films of all time...today

the spirit of the beehive-victor erice
a woman is a woman-jean luc godard
the palm beach story-preston sturgess
metropolitan,barcelona,the last days of disco-whit stillman (my version of the star wars trilogy)
exotica-atom egoyan
the philadelphia story-george cukor
naked-mike leigh
dazed and confused-richard linklater
the soft skin-francois truffaut
il posto-ermanno olmi
close up-abbas kirostami
loulou-maurice pialat