i am billy walsh...

or wally balls or whatever alias one could attribute to the man. but that doesn't mean that i know a vince...or drama...or even a turtle. i see right through the loaded nature of this question, shane. and i understand how badly your desire to see yourself compared to eric from entourage, or sawyer from lost, or marshall form how i met your mother or macgyver or some shit would lead you to ask it of the beer cannes. but as you well know we here at the bc aren't really in the business of giving one shane m. white what is expected and especially not what is desired.

so with this in mind, i will almost send you the ultimate hipsteresque "fuck you" and say that i haven't really watched tv in the last couple years, at least not enough to have some idea of what show my friends are most like the cast of. no sadly, the most in-depth i have gotten into television programming lately is the beijing summer olympics, which is actually an interesting place to start.

i am michael phelps or kobe bryant...because i am the mutherfucking best...ever.

phil goul is shawn johnson because he is short, totally solid, and always tends to make me smile. phil is totally adoptable the same way in which an orphan shawn would be.

ryan micheel is bob costas...maybe he doesn't participate in the traditional sense, but his sharp, witty commentary always makes the proceedings better.

jason maier is nastia liukin because of the solid all around nature of their beings. he is maybe not as high flying as others but he does what he does with percision and grace and never looks like he breaks a sweat. a character of great tact.

michael maier is dara torres because frankly he is just a little too old to be hanging out with us, but he is alright(at best) so we let him hang.

jenny proctor is mary carillo in that while the olympics are going on, she seems to be travelling around doing her own thing. iconoclastic in a way. and an eater of scorpions.

zach proctor is bela karolyi. a big teddy bear that is a little bit of a blow hard and always feels someone, somewhere is being cheated and it makes him red in the face. plus he is humorous.

emily stage is usain bolt because she is always going a mile a minute.

and finally shane white is alicia sacramone because he had a golden oppurtunity to ask a genuinely interesting question(like jason maier) and he blew it. and that just makes him (tyson) gay.

but to answer your question about you, shane...you are like mona from who's the boss?
and i am the boss.